When I went to bed Monday night, the Pirates were well on their way to dropping the first game of this Oakland series and had only managed one hit. For my recap, I was just planning to post a link to the clip from Major League of Bob Uecker, playing the Cleveland Indians’ radio broadcaster, exclaiming “one goddamn hit?” It was hardly an original idea, but it would have been easy and it would have accurately summed up my feelings on Monday’s game.
Alas, I woke up to discover that Oneil Cruz just had to single in the 9th inning, which means I actually have to write something for this recap in the early hours of Tuesday morning. And what I have to say right now could accurately be summed up by Harry Doyle: I am watching an inept offense.
The Bucs faced off against Joe Boyle on Monday night, who entered the game with an ERA over 7. It didn’t take long to see why Boyle had put up such ghastly numbers in April; he had no idea where the ball was going in the 1st, spraying his upper-90s four-seamer and upper-80s slider in the general direction of home plate. Ke’Bryan Hayes singled off of him to open the game, and he eventually walked the bases loaded with 1 out. Jack Suwinski then struck out and Jared Triolo flew out meekly to end the threat, but not before Boyle uncorked a wild pitch that allowed Hayes to score. It was the only time the offense would seriously threaten on Monday night, and the lead evaporated instantly when Bailey Falter gave up a game-tying home run to the second batter he faced. Hitting the ball over the wall — imagine that!
The A’s kept hitting Falter, tagging him for 5 runs on 6 hits and 3 doubles. But these days, who even cares about the pitching. What happens to the Pirates on the mound or in the field defensively is so much meaningless sound and color when the offense is utterly incapable of accomplishing the most basic of tasks like “hitting the baseball.” In the early innings of Monday’s game, between one of Greg Brown’s now daily diatribes against home plate umpires, Kevin Young whispered into the microphone that A’s starter Joe Boyle could only locate one pitch: his fastball. It was true — after the 1st, Boyle started throwing his four-seamer for strikes, while he continued to miss the zone with his slider. Young said he would be sitting on the fastball. But what was obvious to Kevin Young — who hasn’t stepped on a ballfield in more than two decades — was not obvious to the Pirate hitters or Andy Haines. Bucco batters continued to watch fastballs go by or swung late at them. Four of Boyle’s 6 whiffs came on the pitch. Incredibly, the Bucs managed to ground into more double plays on Monday (3) than they had hits (2). Everything else was either a strikeout (7 more of those on Monday, including 2 more for Cruz) or a weak fly ball. Brown sounded like he was going to jump from the broadcast booth.
Hours before first pitch, I wrote on Monday that the three upcoming series against the A’s, Rockies and Angels represented a chance for the Bucs to get back on track. Beating these bad teams wouldn’t turn the Pirates into contenders, but it would go a long way towards assuring the team wouldn’t be buried by the end of May. The fact that “make sure the season isn’t effectively over by Memorial Day” is a goal in Year 5 of Ben Cherington’s Great Rebuild is bleak enough, but bleaker still is the thought that — after watching games like Monday’s — the Bucs might not be able to pull it off.
Bucco Ball 